Trying to concieve can be very frustrating with a mixture of emotions, some might be denial that you actually want a baby or denial that it is time to get some help.
Does anyone feel like that?
Caribbean Fertility Support
A place to express your feelings and share your experience
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tash
MemberOne of my closest friends was diagnosed with PCOS just like me. She cried on the phone to me the day she found out. She knew of my ongoing struggles to get pregnant. It so happened that she conceived on her honeymoon. I was devastated. I tried to be happy for her but I just couldn't be. I had to pretend. I remember crying like someone had died for weeks after she told me. All thru her pregnancy I tried to be there for her but it ate me up inside.
I never wanted to feel the baby kicking or look at her stomach. I know it was terrible of me but I couldn't help it.
I still hate to go to baby stores or see people pregnant.Posted 1 year ago # -
khadine
ModeratorHello Tash,
I understand totally, I had a similar feeling with my sister in law who got pregnant while I was struggling. Through out her pregnancy I did not attend any family functions where I knew she would be. I remember when she had the baby and everyone went to the hospital to see her, I had a strong face before I left home but could not bring myself to come out of the car at the hospital's car park.
It's hard to see others achieve what you so long for. Not many understand this struggle.
Posted 1 year ago # -
K.Sobit
MemberWow Khadine! I don't know how you managed to survive that one. :o If I were in that situation, I'm sure I would've made up some excuse why I couldn't go to the hospital. I have no siblings, so my exposure to 'in-laws' is somewhat limited. But being the only child has pressures of its own when it comes to babies.
Posted 1 year ago # -
K.Sobit
MemberKhadine, I can relate. My husband's only sibling is unmarried with no kids (yet), so everyone is always looking at us in expectation. I understand your mix of emotions also. I felt the same way when one of my co-workers fell pregnant after a one-night stand. She never even wanted any children .... how unfair.
I often look at videos on youtube, following other women on their IVF journeys. One of them had her baby this week. She left some words of wisdom that made me feel a bit better about my whole situation. She said we should always remember that our dreams are delayed, but not denied. The only way we'll know for sure that we won't have a baby is if we give up trying.
Right now, I'm still at a loss as to how I'm going to pay for this treatment. Besides the expenses of the IVF itself, I also need to have surgery to have my tubes clipped.
Posted 1 year ago # -
S.Best
ModeratorThere may be pressure from families and friends who often tell couples with infertility to have a baby soon, whether being serious or teasing. I have been around some people with less respectful boundarries who might ask out loud why don't have a child and when they will have one. Some families and friends with all good intentions want to give the couple advice and tips on having a child or coping with infertility.
Just as Tash said, people avoid baby showers or friends and family members who are pregnant or have infants or young children, because they feel jealous or sad seeing other people have what they don't. It hurts!!!!
I would say don't give up.
Posted 1 year ago #
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